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Couple counselling

Couples often come to counselling when they are experiencing a break down in communication leaving both parties feeling hurt, misunderstood and even unloved. This can set up a dynamic leading to further pain and isolation, affairs, vengeful behaviours or withdrawal, feeling stuck in a rut and not knowing how to get out of it.  Often relational patterns are formed in early life and carried into the present relationship, out of awareness of the partners. It is also common to get stuck in circular patterns of pain, anger and blame where it is difficult to access other ways of thinking.

Of course, one or both of the parties may well be experiencing other difficulties in their life which may have caused or contributed to the current difficulties in relating. These issues would also, where appropriate, be brought into the counselling, but sometimes it can be helpful for that person also to have individual therapy with someone else.

I see couples for short and long term work.   I approach couple work through a combination of systemic and psychodynamic theory with an attempt to offer insight and new possibilities to couples to find their own way through. Couple work requires the willingness of both partners to engage in the process and is not about the therapist “fixing” the relationship.

Couple counselling can be an extremely helpful space in which to identify events, feelings, beliefs, misunderstandings and patterns of behaviour which contribute to the present difficulties. Many couples report that being in the calm contained presence of an impartial third party, and the offer of insight into what is going on, has helped them to move out of their impasse.

Relevant Qualifications

Diploma in Couple Counselling from the Relate Institute

Certificate in Psychosexual  Relations from the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relations (TCCR)

Further training in psychodynamic couple work at TCCR